


Ruined

by zukomyprince125



Series: Ruined [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Depression, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Graphic Description, M/M, Protective Nanase Haruka, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-15 14:10:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2231913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zukomyprince125/pseuds/zukomyprince125
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto has always known the way he would lose his virginity to Haru. There would be candles and probably a shit load of water, but he knew they wouldn't just have sex. They would make love. One night, Makoto's dream is crushed as he has something very precious taken from him. Now, Haru tries to bring back the boy he loves. MakotoXHaru Warnings: Rape, Sexual Content, Yaoi, Underage</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love Like This

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trash and this is my first Makoharu fic and it's going to be so depressing so yay...  
> Also, if you have any suggestions, leave a comment or message me on fanfiction.net under the same username.   
> If you have any one-shot or story requests, message me on ff.net  
> Thanks and I'm very sorry.

"So do you want to do something tonight?" I asked Haru, my best friend, with a smile.

He was silent but nodded his head before looking away. People who didn't know him would say he looked disinterested but I know every nod of the head and every move of those eyes better than anyone.

Haru looked at me. "Yours or mine?" He asked.

"I could just come to yours." I answered "Plus I think if you come over, the twins will request all of your attention and we won't get to do anything."

He smiled slightly before refocusing on the walk we were currently taking home from swim practice.

"That's fine." He mumbled and I smiled.

Haru loved it when I would come to his place because there was quiet and we could enjoy each other's company without interruption. But Haru loved my house when he missed his family. He never told me, but I could tell when he missed them. He would play games with the twins and answer my parents with more than one syllable when he needed to feel a part of a bigger unit.

"Do you know what you want to do?" I asked with a smirk, knowing he would pick up on my hint.

Haru blushed slightly and his intense glare faltered and I knew he had definitely gotten the hint.

"Because I have a few ideas." I whispered with a side glance at my boyfriend of a few months.

We have loved each other for years. I don't know what I would do without him. Haru confessed his feelings with a surprise kiss during a night swim. I'll remember that night for the rest of my life.

Haru and I had been spending the night at his and he was bored so he suggested a night swim at the pool at school. He basically ran, while I tried to match his pace, to the water. I watched him swim for a while before he started his usual calming float on the surface of the water.

"Makoto..." he had said.

I swam closer to him and raised my eyebrows in question. He rarely ever talked while he was floating.

"Why do you just watch me?" He had been referring to the way I normally watched him swim. He always had a way about him when he swims, it has the ability to put you in a trance and nothing can shake you. The way the water accepted him as he gracefully propelled himself through it was the closest thing to magic I had ever witnessed.

It had taken me a while to put my feelings to words.

"Because as long as I am with you and can see the way the water puts love and happiness on your face then I don't need anything else. I-I never want to forget the way that looks." I stammered out of embarrassment because of the sappy things coming from my heart.

It was silent for a few moments and I started feeling uncomfortable in the water, my obvious confession still echoing off the pool walls.

Haru slowly quit floating and stood in the pool inches from me.

"Makoto." He whispered before his eyes started flickering between my eyes and my lips.

I grew hot and could feel my stomach drop hoping I wasn't making things out of nothing.

Haru moved in and placed a kiss on my lips. His pink lips were soft and I can still remember the way they drew the tension from my body. Kissing Haru was natural no matter what anyone says or believes, kissing him set a fire in my soul and I added it to my list of ways I could tell how he felt.

That was the first of many kisses we shared and lately things have been getting heated.

We haven't done anything past kissing, mostly because we are both fine moving at our slow pace of intimacy and anytime things get too heated I end it or slow it down.

Haru knows I want to take things at a steady pace and he doesn't rush me and I love him for that, mostly because I know being in a sexual relationship is as big of a deal for him as it is for me.

Every now and then I'll make suggestive comments, like just now, but he knows I mostly do it to fire him up and make him blush because that's one of my favorite things in the world; when his emotion is physical and present on his face.

Haru doesn't know but I have our first time played out in my head, every little detail.

I want it to happen when we are both ready and I want it to be natural. We won't have to ask awkward questions because we won't be having sex. We will be making love. Making our love tangible and passionate.

I want it to be special and to take my breath away. Candles, flower petals, I don't care as long as Haru is holding my hand, whispering sweet nothings into my ear as we share every part of ourselves.

I'm drawn out of my fantasy as Haru began opening his front door.

"Oi, do you want something to drink?" He asked me, making his way to the kitchen.

"I'm good, thanks." I set my bag down on the floor by the door and removed my shoes.

"So what did you have planned?" He asked now with a bottle of his favorite element. He was blushing slightly and it brought a smile to my lips.

"Homework." I said bluntly and began rummaging through my bag.

"What?" He asked completely stumped "I thought you-"

I quit my charade and stood back up to look him in the eyes, a smirk on my lips.

"That's hilarious." He said sarcastically and I laughed.

"Come on, you have to admit I had you believing it there for a second."

"Tease." He said and started walking away.

Before he could get far, I grabbed his hand with one of mine and pulled him into a kiss.

He let out a gasp before he returned my kiss, soon dominating and heating things up. I don't know when, but we made a journey down the hall and were now in Haru's bedroom, the bed we shared all the time against the wall.

His tongue was sending sparks through my nerves. He knows just how to drive me absolutely insane and he's good at it.

"Mhmm" he moaned against my grip on his hair, one of his favorites. My tongue tried to dominate but he wasn't having any of that and pushed me onto the bed.

I looked up at him. We were both trying to catch our breath and he had the cutest tinting to his cheeks.

He stood above me for a few seconds before placing his hands on either side of my legs and lowering his head so our foreheads touched.

I smiled and raised my hands to cup his cheeks.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I know, it's pretty obvious." He said with a sweet smile and I laughed at his smart ass.

"You love me too."

"You got me there." He pecked my lips before moving his hands to mirror mine on my cheeks, his knees coming to rest where his hands had been. He was now straddling me.

He pushed me for the second time tonight but I wasn't complaining. I was now laying under him and was sure my cheeks were as colorful as his in this moment, if not worse.

He leant down and hugged me, his lips finding their way to my neck. He trailed kisses up my throat until he reached my jaw. This was one of his favorite places to kiss me because of the noises he knew he could draw from my lips.

His kisses were sweet and wet and I loved every single one of them.

"Ahh..." I moaned and I could feel Haru's smile through his kisses. My hands ran themselves up and down Haru's back and he groaned against my skin.

We continued to hold each other close in his bed for hours kissing and talking and then kissing some more until it was time for bed.

I called my mother to tell her I was spending the night again and she thanked me for letting her know.

Haru and I told my parents about our relationship about a month after it had been out secret. Their reaction was pretty funny.

My mother scoffed and said "Looks like I'll just get to see you even more often dear." to Haru and I couldn't have been happier. My parents were like Haru's second parents and the fact that they accepted him and our relationship brought a tear to his eye.

After we had done that, I kissed him with all my heart while he still couldn't get rid of the smile on his face.

After pulling my clothes off until I was left clad in my boxers, I crawled into bed with Haru and held him close until I drifted asleep to his steady heart beat.

I could love like this for the rest of my life.


	2. Floating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto tries to hide the evidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the feedback and I'm sorry to tell you (or happy depending on how much you enjoy suffering) that the angst is coming. If you have any requests for stories for the bbys or any suggestions or headcannons on how this ship would handle rape in your opinion, message me heh.
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> -zukomyprince125

Swimming practice was really fun today. Gou and I were spending time with each other discussing the strong and weak parts of our team.

Nagisa was great on his last stretch and making up for lost time, but he got easily distracted.

Rei was very determined and his form was - in his words - beautiful, but he pushed himself too hard sometimes.

I was good with my arm strength and keeping myself paced, but had been struggling with my start recently.

Haru. Haru was so graceful and he almost didn't have any weaknesses. I know he has to have one, but Gou and I couldn't come up with anything.

After I had spent time with Gou and doing "captain" stuff, I began my laps for training. About halfway through, I got distracted with the sky above me and began drifting through the cool blue. Haru never left my mind. ' _What's his weakness?'_ I thought to myself and frowned. I was supposed to know everything about the boy I love.

Well, he does have one. Although he would let Nagisa move in for the promise of his beloved mackerel, I doubt that translated to his weakness in the water. Or a real weakness in general.

I guess you could say that's what I was really thinking about. What makes Haru the most vulnerable?

"Makoto." I was pulled from my thoughts to find the source of my name.

Haru was standing at the edge of the pool with that blue towel over his head, holding mine out for me.

"Thank you." I said, grabbing the towel from his hold.

"Makoto..."

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?" Haru had a frown planted on his lips and my heart melted. He was worried about me.

Most of the time, it was me who was asking him if he was alright. It felt weird to be on the receiving end.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"You were just floating." Haru shrugged and looked to the water I had just left behind. "I'm usually the one doing that." he whispered and I looked deep into those eyes I knew so well.

"I don't know what got into me." I replied and found my eyes searching into his soul, thinking about what preoccupied my mind only moments ago.

"Everyone left." he said and I knew that was his way of telling me he was ready to leave as well.

We showered, changed into our clothes and began walking home.

It was silent, but it was peaceful.

* * *

I woke up in the best of ways.

Haru's face was nuzzled into my neck and m arms were full of him and his warmth.

If I hadn't needed to go to the bathroom, I would have laid like that for as long as I possibly could.

I climbed out of bed as gently as possible and walked into Haru's bathroom. I looked in the mirror and mentally groaned. There were hickeys all over my chest and collarbones. Evidence of the passionate kissing session we shared last night was very obvious and red. I had to find a way to get something to cover them up before someone saw. I just needed a collared shirt was all.

After using the bathroom, I decided I would go home, sneak in, grab my clothes, and sneak out before my mother or father could see. I didn't really feel like being asked if Haru and I were having sex by my mother, let alone my father.

Even though Haru and I weren't there yet, I didn't want to have to explain anything to anyone.

When I made my way back into the bedroom, I walked over to Haru and sat down next to him.

"Hey." I nudged him a bit and placed a kiss on his hair-covered forehead. His eyes slowly opened and he had the smallest of smiles when he saw me.

"Hey." he answered and I smiled at him.

When his eyes caught sight of my hickeys made him smirk as he lightly traced one of them on my right pectoral.

"Sorry." he mumbled, but I could tell he definitely didn't mean it.

"I need to go get something I can wear." I told him and he nodded. Although Haru looked sexy in my clothes, I certainly struggled looking good in his clothes that were a few sizes too small on me.

"Hurry." he said and I didn't need anymore prompting than that.

"I'll be back as soon as possible." I assured him and began pulling on my v-neck from yesterday. After gathering the rest of my things from practice last night, I rushed for the door. Before I left I turned to face my sleepy boyfriend still in bed. "Go ahead and run a bath." I winked and was out of the house before I could blush.

* * *

_Why am I never prepared?_ I thought to myself while I remembered all of the times that I had to do this.

Just three nights ago, I was running home to get a collared shirt.

I should know that Haru loves to tease me.

I tripped on an uneven section of concrete and decided to slow down. There wasn't much of a need to rush.

My mind flashed to the thought of Haru in his bath.

Okay maybe a slight need.

* * *

When I arrived at my house, I quietly opened the front door and tried to adjust the strap to my swimming bag to hide my hickeys as best as possible, just in case I was caught.

"There you are."

Damn.

I spoke way too soon.

"Were you at Haru's?" my mother asked and I nodded. I must have forgotten to text her.

"I'm so sorry mom!" I yelled and ran to give her a kiss on the cheek before I rushed into my room before she could notice anything I'd rather her not see.

After shutting my door, I threw my bag down on my bed and ransacked my closet looking for a clean collared shirt. That's when I realized how often I had the need to cover myself up. Either Haru and I needed to work on better placement, or I needed more shirts. Probably the latter.

Grabbing the first one I saw, I threw it into my backpack along with a pair of pants. I needed to get back to Haru as quick as possible. Haru loves them, but cold baths are a no from me.

Shrugging the bag onto my shoulder, I left my room in a haste.

"Makoto." my mother said sternly and I knew I had to stop. Crap. There was nothing to hide my neck from view. I quickly grabbed my backpack straps and placed my fingers across the exposed skin of my chest.

"Be safe okay?" she asked and I nodded, hoping she couldn't sense how nervous I was.

"I will. Love you!" I yelled on my way out the door.

I ran for a moment and then slowed to a walk.  _No need to be out of breath when you get back to him._ I reminded myself and kept a normal pace.

"Young man!" I heard someone yell and I turned to see who had called for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo Heh the angst hasn't quite begun, but just wait the bbys gon suffer. Sorry.
> 
> Please leave a review if you enjoyed
> 
> -zukomyprince125


	3. Amateur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH READING RAPE, SKIP THIS CHAPTER PLEASE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as the above mentions, this is the rape chapter and this is really hard for me to write because I love my bby Makoto and I'm going to try my best not to go into too much detail but you have been warned. If you are not comfortable with this, then skip this chapter because that is all this chapter contains.
> 
> -zukomyprince125

"Young man!" I heard someone yell and I turned to see who had called for help.

It was an older man who reminded me of Coach Sasabe. He had the same build and age to his features.

I smiled in acknowledgement of my elder and looked to see what the problem could possibly be.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I was wondering if you could show me where to go, I believe I am lost." he answered and I shook my head. Iwatobi was very difficult to navigate if you didn't know your way around. There were random stairs and "hidden" passages everywhere. It used to scare me as a child when I was afraid to get lost, but I knew my way around now.

"I would be glad to help," I assured him "where are you trying to go?"

He looked around him.

"I think I was supposed to be going that way." he pointed to the small back street that was farthest from us. "I'm meeting old friends at a cafe somewhere." He smiled.

"Alright, I can show you the way back to the main road from here." I offered and he nodded his head.

"Thank you."

On the small walk toward the back street I took the opportunity to study the strange man. He had black hair that was cut pretty short and he had troubled green eyes. They were a much darker shade than mine and they made me feel unsure. He also had nothing with him. He was only wearing dark pants and a t-shirt. If it were me, visiting a new place, I would have been carrying a map so I could avoid having to ask people to take time to show me where I was going.

Not that I minded helping this man.

We entered the "alleyway" as Haru and I had nicknamed it back in middle school. Haru used to tease me because I was terrified of this dark concrete road surrounded by brick buildings. Now I know the only reason he would make us walk home this way was so I would hold onto him, which he loved.

I had gotten over my fear of this place. Somewhat.

Walking through it with this stranger wasn't really helping me though. Haru and I had slept through most of the day and it was starting to get dark.

_I really hate the dark._

"So do you live around here?" the man asked looking at me. I was only a few inches taller than him, but he still had to aim his eyes higher to reach mine.

"Yeah, I live nearby." I answered, not exactly wanting to tell him my address. I didn't even know his name. Now was too awkward to ask.

"So are you in high school?" his eyebrows lifted.

Wow he was asking all the questions.

"Yes."

"Good." he huffed and pushed me.

I flew to the ground, not expecting it. My butt hurt from the contact of the concrete and the breath was knocked out of my lungs from the impact of the brick from some building I had been thrown against. My backpack was slung a few feet from my grasp.

"Wha-?" I struggled to ask but he was already making use of my lack of stability. He pinned me to the ground and I was squirming as best as I could.

_What is he doing?!_

I really didn't want to die, but I had no clue he would do me an injustice worse than death.

He would take my dream, rip it into shreds, and then leave it on the cold ground.

"Don't talk and this will go as smoothly as possible." he ordered and I began shaking. This alleyway was getting darker by the second and I was so scared.

"Please, please don't." I pleaded, realizing what this predator was really after. He probably was making the entire "meeting friends" thing up.

_Of course he was Makoto, how stupid and gullible are you?!_

The man pulled out a pocket knife and held it to my throat. "Now, I'm only gonna say it once." he threatened. My cheeks were covered in tears now and I was shaking like I had never before. "Say one more word and you'll never speak again."

I gulped and nodded.

He removed the knife from my neck and made use of cutting my v-neck down the middle.

"Who put these on you?" he asked with a smirk. My mind shifted to Haru and our night. No. My mind wouldn't think of Haru in a moment like this.

That's when it hit me that my virginity wouldn't belong to him anymore and the sobs wracked my body.

"Please, please, p-please..." I let out through my cries but he held continued cutting.

"Whoever left them is an amateur." he laughed out and I was disgusted.

He lowered his hand to the hem of my pants and proceeded to cut them too. The knife nicked my leg while he was ripping through the left pant leg and I let out a small scream of pain.

"Just wait." he smiled and I threw my head back in pain.

_Please._

After he cut my underwear off, I was hoping I was going to wake up from this awful nightmare.

"Nice." he said and I knew what he was talking about. I tried to push my legs together to cover myself up, but he forced them open again and began unbuckling his pants.

"Try not to scream." he said, pumping his already hard member. This man was vile.

He entered me and my hands tried to grasp whatever they could, but all I could reach was the hard ground. I wanted to die.

He was moaning as he increased his pace, but the only noise I could release was silent sobs of pain and anguish.

"S-stop." I pleaded between gasping from my horrible cries. "Please."

He rammed into me incredibly fast and I yelled out.

"Don't test me." he warned and I hoped and prayed that this ended soon.

He grabbed my hair for purchase and I cried out. His grip was painful and he was shoving my hair against the wall with each thrust.

I was incredibly thankful that my body was so disgusted that it refused to act to what he was doing to it, but that was angering him and he placed his hand on my penis, giving it a few jerks.

"Don't act like you don't like this." he told me. "Those hickeys don't exactly tell me you're innocent."

He flung his head back in what I assumed was bliss through my tear filled eyes, but I was not sharing his feelings. I wanted to throw up and I hoped I didn't do it on him, because I doubted he would react well.

"A-ah, almost th-there kid." he said and I was glad he was finally getting what he wanted so he could leave me. I hated him.

His next series of thrusts were random and harsh and were tearing into me. My cries where hushed by his hand.

The only noises were his lack of breath, my muffled screams, and the sound coming from where he was entering me repeatedly.

And then, it all stopped.

He pulled out and shoved my on my side.

I pulled my legs to my chest and held onto what was left of my dignity.

He pulled his pants back on and walked over to where I was.

"If you tell a soul, I will find you and I will kill you."

I nodded.

"After I have another go at you." he laughed and I cringed. I never wanted to have to go through this again. I never wanted anyone to go through it.

"You were good." he whispered. "Almost like you liked it." and then the black haired figure was walking away.

As I cried harder than I ever had before I thanked God that I didn't know his name, so I would never have to associate a name with this experience and his name wouldn't mark my heart.

"I didn't like it." I said in a raspy voice.

"I didn't like it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I'm sorry just stick with me. The next chapter will be slightly better, but it only gets better from here
> 
> i hope
> 
> -zukomyprince125


End file.
